I woke one morning last week to a clogged toilet……….this was before my first cup of coffee and I was on a liver cleanse so you can only imagine how frustrated I was to have a clogged toilet as my innards were becoming unclogged!
My day was full of inward reflection and realizations of all the things I really don’t want in my life anymore. It felt so liberating to realize that I can choose what I want, and if I believe in it I CAN make it happen. Although, I still need to stay present with this process as I continue to change what isn’t working and get ride of the crap that just doesn’t serve me anymore. Tie up all the loose ends and stop clogging the pipes!
Then in the evening, I came across John and Julie Gottman’s questionnaire to assess, on a regular basis, how things are going in your relationship. Here is the list that the Gottman’s refer to as The Relationship “Poop Detector” If you have four items present in your relationship you may want to talk things over GENTLY with your partner within the next three days to avoid constipation in the relationship and clogged pipes!!
- I have been acting irritable lately.
- I have been feeling emotionally distant.
- There has been a lot of tension between us.
- I find myself wanting to be somewhere else.
- I have been feeling lonely.
- My partner has seemed emotionally unavailable to me.
- I have been angry lately.
- We have been out of touch with each other.
- My partner has little idea of what I am thinking lately.
- We have been under a great deal of stress, and it has taken its toll on us.
- I wish we were closer right now.
- I have wanted to be alone a lot lately.
- My partner has been acting emotionally distant.
- My partner’s attention seems to be somewhere else.
- I have been emotionally unavailable to my partner.
- My partner has been angry lately.
- I have little idea of what my partner is thinking lately.
- My partner has wanted to be alone a lot lately.
- We really need to talk.
- We haven’t been communicating very well lately.
- We have been fighting more than usual.
- Lately, small issues escalate.
- We have been hurting one another’s feelings lately.
- There hasn’t been very much fun or joy in our lives lately.
- My partner seems to have no time or energy for me lately.
- I have been feeling sorry for myself lately.
- We have had little time or energy for physical affection.
- We are not making love very much.
- I wish my partner would touch me more often.
Teena K. Evert, M.A. is a clinical psychotherapist who specializes in healing relationships. She works with women, couples, and families. For more information please visit, Denver Women’s Counseling.